No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
