I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Buhtt sex?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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