ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
