if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
