What did we do last night that was yellow?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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