I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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