drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
