sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Rumble strips road head = magical
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
