Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
