Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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