You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
