Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
