you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
