I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
