they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
