I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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