he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
