On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
