I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
