Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
