fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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