Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
