How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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