You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
