How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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