I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
