holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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