Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
