i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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