We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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