i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
