Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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