The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
