She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
