WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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