dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
