good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Mom said you looked used
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
