ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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