never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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