i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
