Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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