Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize