mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
