well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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