Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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