when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
