I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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