Sry I called you an 8
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
