her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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