The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
