I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
