Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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