So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
