Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
