i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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