You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
