Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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