Barsexuality is the new black.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize