my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So vagazzling was a success
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
