omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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