It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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