The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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