I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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