FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
