Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
