Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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