i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
