You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize