Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
