ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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