I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
