she was so not down for the gang bang
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
