I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize