I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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