Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
