Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
