i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
