Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
