can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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