i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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