who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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