I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize