I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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