Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
