we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
